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First, I have to ask myself, why on earth I bothered having a shower before walking the dogs, I may as well have taken the shampoo with me. No stop there, that would be a disastrous ‘Miranda’ moment. Moving swiftly on, miracle of miracles, I’m still in shock, my two dogs spied a jogger today and lo and behold they both returned to my side, then sat at the side of the path and let the jogger go by without incident! This so far has been the highlight of my day. After this it went down hill as I had to do a dreaded supermarket shop for the store cupboard essentials. Try as we might to avoid this, we all at sometime or other, find ourselves, gloomy and brain dead in these places, as I did this morning. I was interested to see that 99.9% of the people in there were obviously in the same state of mind as I was. What is it about these places? Do they pump some kind of fog into the air so that when you enter you can no longer think straight, so ensuring that you leave having spent 4 times as much as you intended on things you didn’t need nor want? Shame I can’t apply the same trick to selling weeks in holiday cottages! Anyway, yet again, determined not for this to happen I picked up a basket rather than pushing a trolley. 15 minutes later I’m staggering to the checkout, cat food under one arm, loo paper under the other, washing powder in left hand large bottle in the other, pushing the basket along the floor as it’s too full to carry. You get the picture. I then go through the usual hair wash conversation, you know the one? Pretty sure I don’t need to spell it out! The checkout lady proceeds to throws my shopping at me, whereupon I go at a dead slow packing rate, I can’t stand it when they chuck everything at you at such a rate your lettuce gets squashed under your cat food. Do I complain? Of course not, I’m British and I just want to get out of the place, get home and make my famous Chilli Chocolate Mocha ( simple recipe on request) accompanied with 3 milk chocolate digestives ( I’ve earned more but I’ll restrain myself).

One more thing, I get the feeling cold selling has reached a new level. There I am sitting in Working Wendy, minding my own, while it gets filled with LPG, the tank that is, and there’s a knock at the window, “do you want a kingsize bed or double with headboard and memory foam mattress I just happen to have on my van, knock down price?” Maybe if I ever feel the need, this is how I should sell weeks in my cottages…….

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